That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
