You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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