We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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