I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
