You're so nebulous sometimes
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the day after is always just damage control
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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