Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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