Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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