Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
