the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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