Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
