...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
