It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
