well you can't waste a boner
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
