Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
where are my eyebrows?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize