oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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