so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
