i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
