Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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