i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
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I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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