have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
