So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
be right there i have to get my cape
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
