As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
