so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
