Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
