At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
