i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize