Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
