that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
