Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize