If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Randomize
