Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
