is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
