He is an equal opportunity slut.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They have beer where we have blood.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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