i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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