you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just want to make out with him forever
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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