It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
