I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
