I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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