just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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