So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
