she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
