Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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