Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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