Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Will exercising make me less horny?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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