I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
