Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
