Buhtt sex?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
