so explain again why im purple
no
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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