it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
