Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
