Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
