yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
