I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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