Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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