Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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