I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
