Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
