ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
