i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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