is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
