that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
