I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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