My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize