He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
