Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize