i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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