I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
