i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
