hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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