Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
